Netflix's "Another Self": Family Constellations Explained
We explore Netflix's "Another Self" to understand Family Constellations and their impact on family dynamics and healing, plus we get insights from a facilitator we interviewed.
What exactly are Family Constellations?
If you’ve been curious about this method, especially after binging the Netflix series *Another Self*, you’re not alone. Family Constellations is a therapeutic approach developed by Bert Hellinger that dives deep into the hidden dynamics of our families. Imagine a therapy session where, instead of just talking through your problems, you’re using stand-ins—whether they’re people or objects—to represent significant figures or issues in your life. It’s like bringing your internal world out into the open so you can finally see the root of your struggles and begin the process of integration at a soul-deep level.
But what makes this method so compelling? Recently, I had a chance to chat with an old friend, Luisa Kincaid, who knows this world inside and out. Luisa is a Family Constellation Systemic Practitioner, a Transpersonal and Self-Coach, and she also manages the Women's Circle ATX Moonlight Circle. She broke it down for me, starting with the idea that everything begins with family—the roles we inherit, the dynamics we unconsciously play out, and how these patterns influence every part of our lives.
Luisa shared that Family Constellations is guided by three fundamental orders that can help us make sense of these patterns:
The Order of Belonging
Ever felt like the black sheep of the family? Or maybe there’s a history of rejection or aggression in your family line? This order is all about recognizing who belongs and who has been pushed out or excluded. Understanding this can be key to healing deep-seated wounds.
The Order of Hierarchy
This one’s about respecting the natural order of things. It’s like recognizing the seniority within a family, team, or even a project. When the order of arrival is disrupted—like when younger siblings take on the role of caretakers for their older siblings—it can cause all sorts of imbalance.
The Order of Equilibrium Between Giving and Taking
Relationships thrive on balance. When the give-and-take is off—whether it's in love, work, or friendships—things start to fall apart. This order emphasizes the need for reciprocity and balance to keep the flow of life and love going strong.
Family Constellations isn’t just about family in the traditional sense—it’s a philosophy that extends into every corner of life. This method can help you untangle issues that have been passed down through generations, like troubled romantic relationships, struggles with self-confidence, or even limiting beliefs that keep you from reaching your potential. It’s also an effective way to address work-related problems, money blocks, and even health issues. If you’re dealing with unresolved grief or feeling like you just don’t belong anywhere, Family Constellations can bring those feelings to light and offer a path to healing.
What are the so-called Family Dynamics?
From our mothers, we inherit more than just our physical traits; we receive the foundation for our health, prosperity, abundance, and self-esteem. Our mothers are the ones who instill in us how to love and be loved, particularly in romantic relationships. The way we connect with other women, our approach to nutrition, and how we process and express emotions are also deeply influenced by our mothers. In contrast, our fathers shape other crucial aspects of our lives. From them, we inherit our career aspirations, our relationship with money and success, our drive to explore the world, and the path we choose in life.
We are born into this world to serve our families, to take on roles and fulfill expectations that are often unspoken but deeply ingrained. During the formative years, from birth to about six years old, we are completely dependent on our caregivers, living in a state of total survival. Every experience, whether it’s nurturing or neglect, gets imprinted on our subconscious. These early years are critical because they lay down the emotional blueprint for our lives. The interactions and environments we are exposed to can create deep emotional injuries—feelings of injustice, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, and more.
These injuries don’t just disappear as we grow older; they linger in our subconscious, influencing how we see ourselves and how we interact with the world around us. The beliefs and emotions we inherit from our parents, combined with the experiences of our early childhood, shape our inner world, often leading to struggles that we may not even realize are rooted in these early influences. Understanding this connection can be the key to healing and breaking free from patterns that no longer serve us, allowing us to create a life that is more aligned with our true selves.
How are Family Constellations conducted?
Family Constellations tap into a concept known as the morphogenetic field—a term popularized by biologist Rupert Sheldrake. This field is like an invisible web that connects all living things, holding the collective memory of a species, and it’s thought to play a crucial role in how we inherit and transmit behaviors, emotions, and patterns within families. When we work with Family Constellations, we're engaging with this morphogenetic field to uncover and address the underlying dynamics that shape our lives.
In simpler terms, the morphogenetic field is a field of resonance—a shared space where information, emotions, and experiences are exchanged between individuals, especially within a family system. During a Family Constellation session, this field becomes active, allowing us to access the deep, often hidden connections between family members, even those who are no longer alive. It’s as if we’re tuning into a frequency that holds all the unspoken truths, unhealed wounds, and unresolved issues that have been passed down through generations.
This idea is closely linked to the principles of quantum physics, particularly the concept of quantum entanglement. In quantum physics, particles can become entangled, meaning they remain connected and can influence each other’s states, even when separated by great distances. Similarly, within the context of Family Constellations, it’s believed that we are all energetically connected to our family members, past and present. The actions, decisions, and traumas of our ancestors can ripple through time, affecting us in ways we may not fully understand but can sense on a deep, intuitive level.
When a Family Constellation session is conducted, participants may act as representatives for family members or issues. Through the morphogenetic field, these representatives often begin to resonate with the emotions and experiences of the people or situations they are standing in for, without prior knowledge of the specific family history. This resonance allows hidden dynamics and unresolved conflicts to surface, providing a unique opportunity for healing and transformation.
By accessing the morphogenetic field and understanding these quantum connections, Family Constellations offer a powerful way to bring unconscious patterns into the light. This process helps to release the emotional burdens that we carry—not just for ourselves, but for our entire family line. The healing that occurs in this field of resonance can create profound shifts, not only for the individual undergoing the constellation but for the whole family system, past, present, and future.
Did I piqued your interest?
Luisa, with her deep expertise, hosts various events, both online and on-site, for those interested in exploring this powerful method. If you’re ready to dig deep and uncover the hidden dynamics that might be holding you back, reach out to her at 512-589-3949 through whats app.
In conclusion, Family Constellations offer a fresh perspective on old problems, allowing you to see your life through the lens of your ancestors, your family, and the roles you play within these systems. Through this process, you can explore everything from relationship challenges—whether with your partner, your kids, or even your boss—to deep-seated issues like addiction, chronic sadness, or the feeling of being stuck in a pattern that just won’t break. Family Constellations can also help you work through money matters, success blocks, or the emotional fallout from a breakup. And it doesn’t stop there—it’s a tool for integrating any aspect of life that’s crying out for attention and healing.
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